1. My french manicure has once again defected. It’s somewhere in Lithuania…
2. That Mary J Burger King song is catchy. Dammit.
3. Will Kanye and Kim try another sex tape? Can we call it “GoldTrigga”? I’ll do set design.
4. Moms should not network socially…
5. Martyrs suck. Don’t do something if all you want is credit.

Bonus: I really want an Auntie Anne’s pretzel right now.

That is all.